William S. Jackson 2-3-29 transcription
William S. Jackson Papers, Part 2, Ms 0241, Box 3, Folder 29
I am [almost uneasy?] at not hearing from you. I wrote as soon as I received your letter, the last of Oct. or 1st of Nov. I had been waiting to hear that you had got home.
I hope my letter did not go astray. Perhaps your answer to it is in Everetts pocket still.
I am getting settled though in some confusion still owing to delays of other people. I have a new carpet & new stove with [brass?] [ ] &which are charming.
I went to Boston last week to see Miss Cushman in Lady Macbeth. Shall go again this week or next to see her in [My Vanities?].
I am still very well & everybody exclaims to see me looking so much
better. I hope I shall have a better winter than last. Do write. Love
Your note came tonight, & for fear that you may not have received the short note I sent a few days ago, asking you why you did not write to me! I write again to make sure that you [have?]: that is, if there be any such thing as making sure, of the mails.
I can't remember, & I don't find it in my diary, whether it was just before I left Bethlehem that I wrote to you or just after, while I was at [Parker's?]. But I wrote. And I told you how I had been thinking all through October that you would let me know that you had got home, & that had been the reason I did not write: I shall always write dear as I told you, about the first of each month & I hope you will always write to me about the middle. I shall go to Boston again next week for a few days visit at the [Strauses?] & to see Miss Cushman in [My Vanities?]: then about [the first?] I shall go to N. York & New Haven for some visits, so I shall not be very much settled till after that is over. I am still very well, though I miss the bracing mountain air: it is too warm here today! A fire is disagreeable. Love to the children & E.
Yours ever affly Helen
I just sent off a package of books to you the day before I left Newport: but I was in such a hurry I could not write a line to go with them. I hope they went safely. I had a bookseller pack them up so they would go without rubbing the edges.
I wrote names in all of the books I believe, except two or three which I put in for general family reading!
I came out here (to Mrs. [Runkle?]) on Saturday last, & shall stay till Friday when I go to Mrs. Botta's to spend N. Years & then to Newport the last of the week.
The house is a very dainty picturesque little place, one of the sweetest I ever saw, but it is a fearful undertaking to get out here - five miles from the station!
Today has been like an April day. I walked out in the woods with Mrs. [Runkle?] awhile & got a quantity of beautiful [mums?] & ferns! I never saw such a Christmas in my life.
I did reply to you about the silk dear, that I would get it for you with pleasure, if you would like me to, but that I advised you to send to Stewarts & Arnolds for patterns & [charts?] yourself: one is so much more likely to get exactly the thing one wants: they will send you an envelope full of patterns with the prices marked. Now don't think I have the least [unwillingness?] to get it. It would not be the slightest trouble, send me word what is the outside price you will give & I will do the best I can. And let me know if there is anything else I can get you. Write to me so that I shall find it at Mrs. Botta's 25 W. 37th St.
Love to all & a Merry Christmas
Your aff. sister
I have a minute & no more to write. I did not get back till Tues. noon & am very busy. You must write simply to A.T. Stewart & Co or Arnold & Co. "Please send me by mail supplies [for?] Bonnets silk not over so much a yd." But I should be afraid to risk having the suit made there unless you are sure you can get it well made in [Washington?].
You can probably sell you quarter of the S. End property for $37,000 & if you don't do it, I shall think you are daft!
Will write again
I send you the Christmas no. of the Old & New which [carries a poem?] of mine.
There is also one in the Christmas [Scribner (i.e. Jan. no.)?], which you will like.
I write on my [carriage?] where I am sorry to say I am spending the day: much to my disappointment for I did not expect to do so till Sunday. & I had planned to do all sorts of things today.
I am distressed to hear of Everetts illness: how much he must have suffered, and how could you endure seeing him take [alliopathic?] treatment! I hope the results will be as favorable as you anticipate, but I fear. I shall send him some of my English newspapers to read & I send also "the Bits of Travel" which is just out. By the way does the "[Graphic?]" come? I have sent it to Helen [for?] a few weeks back.
Your package has not come yet but I thank you all very much & I am afraid the dear children have taken a great deal of trouble to make the things. I don't see how they get time.
I have been busy since I came home from N.Y. getting up a lecture for Mrs. Leonowens, the "English Governess at the Siamese Court". I suppose you read her book. She is to lecture here on the 8th & I have 140 tickets sold for her beforehand so I hope it will be a success. This seems to be about all I have done but there has been a good deal of running about & seeing people involved. I find the days too short for accomplishing anything. I don't know what people do for time who have as much to do as you have for instance. I went to Boston also last week, spent Sunday, came home by way of Providence on Monday & saw the [Vores?]. They are all well & have moved into a new house which they have bought, a very pleasant & sunny one. [Avery?] had a fearful illness last fall, twelve weeks of typhoid fever! I never heard of such a case. He barely escaped with his life, but is well now.
Do let me know soon how Everett is getting on, one of the children can write if you are too busy. Just a line to say how he is. Love to all. Goodbye.
I have been looking for another letter from you but I hope no news is good news & that you are all improving. I may find a letter waiting me at home as I [ ] to be sent up after Friday.
I have been staying several days at the [Vores?] in Providence, & have had a very pleasant visit. They have bought a very nice house, & are much more agreeably situated in every way, I think then they ever have been before. The [ ] have also insured [Gardener's?] life for $10,000 on one of the Endowment policies by which it is paid to him if he is alive at fifty! and as he is forty two today there seems quite a [reasonable?] hope of his getting it.
I only came up last night & I go down tomorrow so I shall not have time to see anybody: I may however decide to stay over till Tuesday: & I that case I shall go & see Cousin Ann. She sent me a box of nice little English wafer crackers & a card with some ferns on it and another small card with picture on it, the most pathetic simple hearted little gift I ever received in my life, I think. It was like something in a story.
I hope Everett gets the English papers I have sent there to him, also I sent him the Bits of Travel to read in his convalescence. And I wrote to Helen thanking her for the pretty [holders?]& asking her to thank you for the for the Japanese box & bowl. They are extremely pretty & look very nicely on my bedroom table.
I feel quite sad at the [return] of spring so soon. I do not know what has become of the winter. I have not accomplished anything which I intended. I have no fixed place for the summer. If I am in this country I suppose it will be Bethlehem, as usual. But I have had an [ ] of going over to England part of the summer. If Miss Woolsey would go with me with me I should go: or if Molly would. But Molly does not want to go for so short a time, & it is uncertain if Sally could. I also dread the water, & perhaps should not have [courage?] at the last minute & sit out.
You have not told me what [Rickie] is doing, & how: do in your next. Give my love to all the dear children & to E. I am glad to know that you are so strong as you surely must be to endure all you have endure in E's sickness. Goodnight
Your aff. sister - Helen
Of course you know of Dr. Palmer's death. Of course we do not want that erratic [genius?], Julius, for our trustee! I presume he has written you as he has me very kindly offering to do all! I have replied most diplomatically thanking him for his kindness in offering to [ ] all affairs for us till a trustee could be appointed! Saying that I had not heard from you, but I had always hoped Augustus would be willing to do it. & I have written to ask him: would you like him too? I suppose we need not have the same trustee but it would of course be much better. I know of no one I would like so well as Augustus & I am sure he is honest.
I was quite surprised to hear of [Uncle Lowall's?] death. I saw Maria [Futos?] in the paper a few days after: [Lyman Berker?] of whom you have heard me speak died last Sat & Col. Higginson's brother Dr. Higginson the Sat before! Five deaths of people I knew well, within ten days! I am sure it is enough to make me realize the uncertainty of life.
Let me know what you propose to do & what Everett thinks best.
I enclose the two letters I have had from Augustus. You see it is evident that if we both decline to keep on with Julius & both agree to offer it to him he will take it.
I do hope you will feel as I do about him: & I feel very sure you will not think of keeping on with Julius! Please write at once.
Yours ever affly
P.S. If you are disposed to try Julius of course I shall not object: but my instincts are all against it.
I wrote to Augustus with perfect [frankness?] about Julius! & told him that I felt quite confident you would feel as I did only more strongly.
but still, if he (Aug.) could not take it I was by no means prepared to say that I could not think of tying Julius because I did not know anyone else to ask & it would be so much trouble!
I do hope so much you will agree with me in wanting Augustus. I do not think anybody else would do as well. He is honest generous & a good business man & would take it as a friend. Who in the world could we find to [unite?] all that?
I enclose [you] my last letter from Augustus. I am awfully disappointed, but I understand how he feels. (I wrote to him saying that I was afraid I had said in my note to Julius that I had always hoped he (Aug.) could take Dr. P's place. I could not recollect but I thought I ought to let him know that I might have done so.)
I incline now to trying Julius: what do you say? You know it will be no worse bother a year hence to make the change than now & perhaps if he is really going to settle down & has all these other trusts, he may do well. That second letter of Augustus's impressed me a good deal. Did it not you?
I really hope on the whole that since Augustus evidently will not take it you will be willing to try Julius. Let me know at once what you think about it.
In great haste
Your affly Helen
1112 [Mark?] St.
I am in receipt of your letter of 19th & have given it the consideration it deserves.
I thank you for the confidence & trust that the request implies.
I would accept it did I not think another way is open to you, which I will suggest & leave to your judgment.
Julius is to remain in Boston, already some of Fathers trusts have fallen into his hands, & I presume others will. Would it not be well for him to have the care of yours also, as he understands it so thoroughly?
I think Fathers death will settle him at home, & that the trust business will so increase as to demand all his time, & give him a good support. I suppose you were not aware of this when you wrote, & therefore mention it for your consideration.
He has had the care of all Fathers business the past year, is well versed in Probate affairs, & I feel sure will take good & accurate care of the trust if confided to him.
I see no good reason why the two estates might not be held by different parties, but should think it best to keep them together.
Lucy sends her love & wishes me to thank you for your kind letter. We all appreciate your ready sympathy & wish you could have seen Father again. He did not think his sickness dangerous until he came with us [five?] days before his death. It was a great comfort to him to have all his children with him, to care for & soothe his last hours. He suffered much for health, but was sensible to the last, & died as he had lived, in full trust & faith.
Aug. E. [Bachelder]
Your [ ] of 23rd at hand this morning. Thanks for your frank and good letter.
I now understand your feelings fully. You were right in supposing that Julius was not informed of your letter to me. My intention was, if you accepted him as your trustee, that he should never know that you had written me.
If I now understand your letter rightly it says, "that you prefer me to Julius, that you think Annie would not accept of J. & that if she should be persuaded to do so, it would not be permanent." Am I right? If so, I must frankly say my position is [embarrassing?].
I would really like Julius to have it, & I do not doubt he would faithfully perform its duties.
I do not need or want it myself, & should only accept it for two reasons. 1st that you positively decline to have Julius & 2nd to [ ] my friendship to you & Annie.
I did intend if your answer had been decidedly no to show him this correspondence in full, but in your last are some expressions (all kindly meant) which it would perhaps be best for him not to see.
I desire to be open & frank both with Julius & yourself & to this end I would advise that you & Annie first decide positively wether you will have Julius or not, & then you can offer it to me or any other party in good faith.
In a conversation with Julius a few days since I understood him to say that the trusts must all go together. (HH added: i.e. you and I must have the same trustee. I had suggested that I might have Augustus if you did not.)
Please make such use of my former letters as you must. I should think Annie would understand the case better to see it.
I would again express my earnest wish that after a full interchange of feeling between you & Annie that you may decide to have Julius appointed.
Aug. E. [Bachelder]
1112 [Mark?] St.
I write you in some haste this forenoon, to get it away ascending to your request by return mail.
Since writing the thought has occurred to me that perhaps you and Annie were not conversant with Julius' life for the past eighteen months, since he came home.
He has been in full company with his Father in all his office business. About a year since was appointed by the Judge of Probate co-trustee with Father on the [Bowles?] Estate of over 150 thousand dollars. He is sole trustee of a friend of his, Mr. Parker for 60 thousand. The [Bumstead?] Estate of some 50 thousand have appointed him to continue in place of Father. The [Straus?] Estate of 60 thousand or more with the guardianship of the children & an important law suit is now in his hands.
He is also sole executer of Father's will, by [Jacobs?] and my own advice, asked by Father before his death.
These trusts will show you the estimate in which he is held by those who know him best.
He is very exact in matters of detail, & I am sure if Annie could get over her old impression of his some what [enatte?] career, & see him now as we hope settled for life, she would not object to the continuance of the trust in his hands.
Aug. E. [Bachelder?]
Your letter received. After consideration I decided to have a sit down with Julius, & am very glad I did. In as few words as possible I will [assure?] your enquiries.
The trust cannot be divided.
The Judge of Probate has all the power, and after hearing both sides, can appoint who he will without appeal. He would of course, all other things being equal, give the appointment to anyone who you & Annie should agree upon, as your interest is so much larger than all the others. Julius can as executor of Fathers will keep the Estate in his hands legally for one year from Fathers death. If you should [join?] Julius he would undoubtedly get it, as it would be a large majority in numbers and amount.
He is also well acquainted with the Judge, who to thinks much of him & his ability.
The petition is presentable Apl 29th & if Annie or you object to Julius & want some other person you must then appear by person or attorney, & show cause why your [nominee?] should be appointed rather than himself.
It is often the case that where there is a [quarrel?] before the Judge on such occasions, that he sometimes rejects both the parties, & nominates some good man out side, & it may be so in this case.
As you [wld?] see the Judges power is purely arbitrary. Fortunately Judge [Ames?] is a very wise and good man.
I realize your position & am sorry for you for it must be very unpleasant for you either way. After looking well over the whole case, will you allow me to suggest what I think the best course for you?
It is to remain inactive & say to Annie that you are satisfied with Julius, & hope she will be, but if she is not, she must do the very best she can; that you are not going to have a quarrel &c. This you may think interested advise coming from me, & so it is, but I believe it the best for you also.
Julius had no idea that Annie would agree to him, & in this matter took strict legal advice, & will go through it to the end if he fails.
Any one with a decent reason has a right to petition for the Trusteeship, & it rests with the Judge after hearing the reasons both sides, to decide if it is best for the Estate that he should have it.
The letter that Julius wrote Annie was word for word was Father dictated it after Annies interference, & it was most unfortunate that Julius signed his own name instead of Fathers.
I sympathize with you in your [trouble?], & only wish I could do something to keep off the "inevitable" that is pending. Lulu is very well, her letter crossed yours on the way.
Very [Sincere?] Yours
Aug. E. [Bachelder?]
I am very sorry I forgot about the suit. I suppose one reason I did was that I have no ideas whatever on that subject! I have not seen a new [thing?] & I do not know of a new fashion. You could not possibly come to a worse person.
I have just got your note & have only a minute before dinner to write. You will have received two letters from me - no, three - before this.
I would far rather have Julius, at any rate to try him, than Charlie. I don't want anything to do with anybody by the name of Tufts! We must have the same trustee. There is no choice. So I hope you will agree with me on trying Julius.
If E. could look over the [ants?] it would be well I suppose. It is of no use for me to.
I suppose you have received the same letter from Julius that I have with the quarterly out. I must say that his filing the petition before getting our assent, and getting all the other heirs to sign first, does not please me. But still I think that it will be best to try him. It wouldn't make any more of a "row," or be any more bother I suppose to change a year hence if we dislike him than to do it now. Did Dr. [Palm?] ask 5 percent? I thought it was only 2 ½. Julius has charged 5 on this last [account?]. Don't forget to answer this question! I never noticed particularly but my impression was that he only asked 2 ½. But I suppose any other trustee would ask 5 percent at least, & as Everett says, not want to be "bothered at all" about the affairs of two strangers. I think that Julius will have an interest in our affairs if we are friendly with him. I have written to him that I await your decision. & I hope you will agree with me in selecting him. Write by return [ ] mail.
I have received today your note of the 2nd, & reply at once to say that I cannot possibly come on to W. next week. I have been very unwell for a month, have had a bad sore throat, have fallen down stairs & half killed myself, & have gone back about to my worst Old Condition in matters of eating: can hardly eat anything at all & have lived on [beef tea?] three times a day for the last two weeks! I dare say I shall [perk?] up again when I have a change of air but at [present?] I feel very good for nothing indeed.
Except for this I would come dear, with pleasure, & I am very sorry that it happens so, but I could not think of journeys or being away from home when I feel so poorly. Moreover to go into a debilitating air which Washington always is to me would be very bad: if you lived in Montreal I should be helped to come for the stimulus of the bracing air. I shall break up here very early in May & go straight to Bethlehem I think, unless I decide to spend May in New York. I am very much disappointed about your decision in regard to Julius, but I wait to see how you will be affected by his personal letter & the petition with all the other heirs' names signed! Does not Everett know what the law would be about the trustee ship i.e. whether there could be more than one! I incline to think that as the will appointed but one, we must have only one now! & you observe Aug. said in one of his letters that Julius had said, there could be but one. In that case, don't you know that we never could get all those [Bucks & Hagars?] & people to join with us? You see Julius has got them all made sure of beforehand. I fully believe that as he is going to be in this sort of business, & has all those other trusts much larger than ours, we might safely trust him. I have never doubted his honesty, only his wisdom & stability. I would be willing to have Charlie if you desired it: but never John Sanford! Of course we ought to have some one in Boston: if we find that it is not necessary for the whole estate to be in the hands of one man, I believe I shall let things slide & keep on with Julius. You know the greater part of my property is in bond & mortgage now, & that makes a difference: there is no question of management about that: but the more I think of it the more I feel as if there could be but one. Don't you see it would make endless confusion if each heir could insist on having his or her own trustee?
I am very glad E. is going on. Of course you will decide before he goes: & he will act accordingly & look over the [acts?] &c. I am sick of the whole torment. I always did hate anything bordering on business & I hate it more & more the longer I live. You know for some years my relation with Mr. [Palm?] has been much more than yours has. I mean in business matters! I have sent all sorts of bills to him - in short he is just like my banker: & it has been an infinite convenience. You I suppose receive your quarterly payments all in one sum, & that is the end of it. I honestly own that it looks to me, on the whole a much easier way to keep on as I am. And after all, Julius has done everything for a year & a half! But if you take Charlie, I am willing to take him too. Let me know at once.
I am glad to hear such accounts of [Richie?]. I suppose I should not know him if I met him in the street! Goodbye. Love to all the children.
Yours ever - Helen
My dear Annie
I have your & E.'s notes today. I had been waiting to know what you would do: & was beginning to be anxious at not hearing. It seems to me that you can hardly have received the printed notice in the Daily Advertiser for all the heirs to appear & show cause why Julius should not be appointed! Have you? He sent me a copy & said he had sent one to you. Unless we appear either in person or by Attorney & oppose it, & "show cause," he will be appointed. That is what I meant by "fighting it out." I am entirely ready to join with you in requesting that he be not appointed & in asking for Mr. Tufts.
I very much prefer Mr. T. to a stranger. I have just the same confidence in him that you have.
I have written to Julius I should do this: but that I would say that it was not on account of personal objection to him. I think this is no more than just to him: but I have told him that I am not willing he should be appointed against your wish. I don't think any body ought to be appointed to whom any one of the heirs has strong objections.
I cannot say I like Julius. I don't. I have disliked his tone and attitude about this whole affair but I do not distrust his honesty & I think as he has now nearly half a million of trust property in his hands, all Deacon [Palmer's?] old trusts except, ours, I do really believe the chances are in favor of his being a good, faithful & honest Trustee. But I have not made you understand just how I felt if you have had the least idea that I was willing to have him forced on you. I should think that very unkind & unfair. Just as I should think it unfair of you to be willing to have John Sanford forced on me!
And I have not "talked about you" to Aug. my dear. I merely wrote that I felt sure you would not wish to have J. - just what you yourself say. I gave no reasons excepting that I alluded to the letter he once wrote you in which he said his father would [decide on?] all questions affecting your property without consulting you. I do not think Aug. has the least unpleasant feeling or Lu. either. I had a pleasant note from him last week. My own opinion is that they do not in the least wonder at your not wanting Julius. Aug. wrote me that he thought differently from Julius - he thought "the trust should [suit?] the trustee, not the trustee the trust." I am sure he disapproves of Julius's disposition to take it by storm! And I am sure I do: & I wrote Julius himself so in my last letter.
I shall be in Boston over Sunday & go up Monday morning: if you write so as to hit me there on Monday #. Send to Julius's care for I do not know where I shall be, whither with Miss Woolsey or at [Parker's?]. Shall talk it all over with Aug. & Julius both. Perhaps Julius can be persuaded to withdraw his petition. I am so disappointed about the pass to California. Of course I had no reason to feel sure but I hoped for it so much: I feel as if the journey would do me good for my lifetime, probably: several other people besides E. have told me they were made over by it! I enclose a line to him about it. He says to think there is still a chance.
I have received today your note of the 6th.
I did not like Julius's getting all those other signatures first, certainly. But there have been a great many things in this world I have not liked, but of which I have made the best. And I am persuaded that Julius would on the whole do well by us. The fact that he intends to make the trust business his business permanently is the best possible [question?] we could have of his being honest in it because one single of failure would ruin it all. I have never disliked him, though I think him pompous and wordy: but he is affectionate and energetic & I fully believe will now be industrious & he has certainly business talent.
Does not Everett know whether we must all have one trustee? The whole gist of the thing lies there. If we must, the sooner we agree the better but the burden of selecting one getting all the other heirs to agree will rest with you: because I am willing to join with them in taking Julius rather than have any more trouble. If we need not then I shall keep on with the rest of the heirs with Julius until I see reason to change. I shall look to all the affairs very closely & have a good fair & square understanding in the outset & I believe all will go well. You know $22,000 of mine is a Bond & Mortgage.
I am perfectly willing to have Charlie Tufts & if you find that we must have only one, I will join with you in trying for him. But I don't believe we could ever get those [Bucks & c?] to take him or for that matter to take anybody that you & I would!
John Sanford I could not think of taking: & I am sure you would not on reflection think it wise to have any one out of Boston.
You have before this received my note saying that I cannot come to W. now. I had intended to go to Boston tomorrow and have Miss Cushman on Wed. Eve. but I do not feel well enough & have sent my ticket to my friend Miss Goodwin.
I am very sorry I cannot come to W but you would not wonder if you knew how poorly I feel: I have not been so generally run down since I was in Rome. Do decide as soon as possible about this business. I hate suspense and perplexity. I have been thinking that perhaps it would do me more good to go to California than anything. Everett thought it did him so much & I have written to ask him if with all his numerous friends in high places he can't get passes. I can't afford to go without. I enclose the note to him. To you dear
Will you excuse this paper? I am writing, lying down, being quite under the weather. I am miserably run down this spring, more so than I have been since I was so ill in Rome: and I have begun to remember your advice last fall "if ever I were run down to go to California" and the object of my note is nothing more nor less than to ask you if you have any influence about passes! I know such things are got for the asking in many quarters, and a wild hope has sprung up in my mind that perhaps you could without very serious trouble, get a couple for Miss Woolsey and me. If you could I can't tell you how grateful I should be. Of course I can't go alone: and she cannot afford at all to go for they are quite restricted in income right now. Neither can I, so far as that is concerned, for I have not written a word for three months and do not suppose I shall be able to for a long time to come, if I ever am: and I have therefore only my own income to draw on and that won't admit of such expensive journeys.
If you couldn't get two, could you get one, which I would give to her & try to get my own out of the N.Y. Independent which some time ago offered to send me out. But then I should be forced to write letters, for which I am not in the least fit: still, if you could get one and could not get two, I would rather go so then not go at all. I would like to go as early in May as possible, or I suppose the sooner the better. Perhaps this will seem to you the most preposterous of hopes on my part. If so set it down to [scorn?] of ignorance on my part & to the intensity of my desire to go. I can't tell you how much I want it nor how much I need an entire change and the stimulus of a new air.
Ever Yours affly
Wed. April 10.
Dear Annie. Yours of Monday just received. It is out of the question, for me to come to W. Besides my not feeling well enough, there are other reasons. I shall probably break up here by May 10th & cannot go away for a visit in the short time left.
Today I have had a letter from Aug. which I enclose. It puts everything very clearly. I am sorry he has told Julius what I wrote to him: but as I did not ask him not to I cannot wonder & perhaps it is as well. I have also a letter from Julius expressing gratitude for my willingness to stick by him & saying in substance what Aug. says as to the business part of it.
I shall now write Julius just what I wrote to you before, i.e. that I was willing to join with the rest of the heirs in taking him, if there could be two trustees, but that I have told you I would join with you in asking for Mr. Tufts if there could be but one, and you positively declined him: and so I must. Now are you prepared to fight it out? Can't you possibly reconsider? I think that the chances are that the other heirs would be vexed, especially if they are friendly with Julius & oppose Mr. Tufts & then the Judge would appoint a stranger!! Would it not be better to take Julius than to have that?
You see it has got to be almost a law suit and you have but little more than two weeks to prepare. And what [treason?] can you assign in court, against Julius? I see none! Your personal [treatment?] of that letter would tell against you in Judge [Ames's?] mind if Julius told what you did to provoke that letter. [Th.?] if I could but persuade you to fall in with what seems so much the best arrangement: but I know there is no use in talking it over. I will abide by my words. I prefer Julius: but I will join you in asking for Charlie if you say so, but I shall do it [avowedly?] for your sake, & not because of any dislike to Julius & so it will have little weight with the Judge. But it could not be honest for me to do it any other way. And my impression is very [positive?] that after all the weary & disagreeable fight was over you would have to submit to one of two things, either to having Julius or a stranger whom you might dislike still more, forced on you. I wonder E. has not told you that the trust could not be divided: what does he think about the whole matter? You haven't said a word of his opinion.
Goodbye [Lovingly care?]
I do so hope E. can get us those passes to California, the more I think of it the more I long to go & I can't possibly afford it for I have not written a word for three months & don't feel as if I soon should again.
Do you really think there is any chance of your finding some one who has authority to give a pass & some one also from whom you could ask it & still more! in time for us to go in the first week in May, as we must do, to get home before insufferable heat & dust on the road? I am afraid I seem troublesome, but you can imagine how I want to go! Several persons have told me, just as you did, or even more strongly that it had made them over: & I am sure that I have reached the corner where I need making over!
I want to go so much & I feel too that I need it so much, that I have already decided to take the one pass which I know I can get from the Independent, pledging myself to write, & give that to Miss Woolsey & pay my own fare! But I don't really know how to afford it & am afraid I ought not to run the risk in my present state of health of being laid up, high & dry, & bankrupt, without the strength to earn a penny.
Is [Gov.?] [ ] in Washington? If so, I think he might help you to knowing somebody could give it for he is all "in" with the R.R. men, or used to be: but I can't write & ask him for it, because I haven't written to him for more than a year. The truth is I have let old friend after old friend drop off my writing list till I am often distressed at the thought; but my indisposition to write grows stronger & stronger. Please write me once more if you think there is any hope of the PASS before May 18th. I know you will try hard for it for me. If there is: you may be verysure I don't ask it so urgently for any small need!
Thank you for your words about the Trusteeship. I can't distrust Julius's honesty. I don't like his ways at all: & I quite agree with you, about his assumption and pushing in this matter. But I make some allowances for that, on account of his needing all the trusts he can have to make the business pay & also his want of a [sensitiveness?]. He is obtuse of nature, & given to big words always. But I am fully prepared to stand by Annie in counter petitioning for Mr. Tufts & have never thought of doing anything else from the first if she really felt she could not have Julius: of course I don't want him forced into it, over her head!
We [ ] out for California, on the 8th or 9th. I am about beside myself with the hurry of breaking up. Miss Woolsey decided only today & I have hosts of things to do.
Hope the trusteeship will all go right. I will write & say goodbye next week.
I only went to N. York for a single day. I went on Tuesday night & expected to return Wed. night, but was too tired & [staid?] over till Wed morning.
I did not answer your questions about my health because I wrote it in such haste. I am better, but not at all well: that is one reason I want to take the journey to C. Same old troubles - indigestion constipation &c. I suppose I am too old to be much patched up, having worn out my digestive apparatus by brain excitements & malarial [poison?] combined.
I am delighted that you were willing at last to have Julius for Trustee. I think it will be much better. I like him more & more the more I see of him. His faults are of manner. Augustus being Co. Trustee will make us safe against his running off which E. said to fear! How it changes E. to have grown so stout!
It is not certain yet about our going to C. The Editor of the Independent [did?] not get the pass he promised - so soon as we hoped - & we may give it up after all. I go to N. York tonight hoping it may yet be arranged: if not I shall stay in & about N. York, visiting &c. for a month or so & then go to Bethlehem or Princeton. I have not decided which: shall go to Bethlehem for Sept. & October at any rate.
I will write a line from N. York to tell you if we go to C.
I am frantic with hurry, having left too much to the last. It is a great undertaking to break up these two rooms. I send you a bundle of rags! I was going to give them to Mrs. Lynch, the woman who attends to all my packing & unpacking &c. & then I remembered what you said about all things being useful in such a family as yours & so I just packed the whole pile up in a bundle & sent it off. Hope you won't be angry at it. You can give them away. Love to the children
Dear Annie - Thus far on our westward way! The going has not been so uncomfortable as I feared, but it has been pretty tough: nights in the cars are horrible, even with all the comforts of Pullman Cars. But we are enjoying everything & having a fine time: I can't write about anything however, for there is not a minute's time & I am so horribly tired! We rode 44 miles yesterday in an open wagon & went to the theatre in the [evening] & today I have been all day to the Mormon services! & have just run home, before the P.M. services were concluded to escape a violent storm I [saw?] coming up. Got home just in time, rain & hail stones as large as walnuts & thunder & lightening, are now going on in this valley! I never saw a wilder scene. I sent a letter to the Independent from Chicago last Sunday & hoped to have sent another this week but I have been too driven & too tired. Tomorrow we take to the cars again & have two nights & two days in them & I dread it unspeakably.
You must be sure & see the Ind. because I hope to have a letter in it every week, & I shall not attempt writing about the journey to friends at all. It tires me too much to write.
I hope all will go well about Julius: I am sorry Everett feels so about him. I cannot share the feeling. I believe we are safe in his hands: but still, who can tell in these days? And it would be perfectly possible for him to beggar me in a day.
Write to the Occidental Hotel
Love to all - Goodbye
Yours lovingly, Helen
This is one of the most beautiful & wonderful situations I ever saw.
We want to stay here a month!
maintained by Special Collections; last revised, 7-2005, jr